I upped my work around the house about 10 years ago (I'm roughly 50). My wife has always been amenable to my sexual needs, but I still felt a little unsatisfied.

Then I learned why: I don't want her to just "give in", I want her to "want me". To need me.

(Insert rants about male toxicity here, then go fuck yourselves)

So, with that bit of self awareness, I took a drastic step: Not only do I do a significant share of the housework, but I pretend to care about it.

I make comments like, "Ugh, it bugs me when I let the kitchen look like this. I'll take care of it," or "I shouldn't be letting the trash pile up."

Note I'm not saying "I do this for you," rather I'm saying, "I need this for me."

She now sees her needs as validated and shared.

The sex is great, by the way.