Member-only story

Funny Social Media

CryptoKnight
3 min readAug 19, 2022

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Or, “funny comments I put in my Venmo transactions”

My wife had a bunch of her friends over a few weeks ago for some witchery called “Bunco.” As I greeted people at the door (on my way out to do more manly things like pickleball) one of the ladies stopped me and said, “I LOVE your Venmo messages. We share them in a ladies group I belong to!”

Wait, wut?

I mean, I knew they were public, but I never thought anyone would actually pat attention to them. Generally, I try to be inappropriate or funny, depending on whom I’m paying. Also, because Venmo is idiotic, I have to pay from my app anything for my wife (like when she gets her nails done) so it’s even more funny for some of these people to get messages from a strange guy.

Just for fun, here are some of the comments I’ve attached to payments over the last year. Archived here for posterity. All images my own, captured from my Venmo history:

A purchase from one of my favorite bladesmith’s
My wife’s hairdresser
I’m not always foul. Sometimes I’m just offensive. So was the dude who reeked of reefer.

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CryptoKnight
CryptoKnight

Written by CryptoKnight

Crappy writer with good information. Here to inform and protect through better management and technology. Follow me: https://www.tiktok.com/@cryptoknightus

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